An Unwanted Blog  

entrance
BEDLAM GENERAL


In the
BASEMENT

Behind a firewall.
In the basement of this eerie old hospital..
A blog was hatched
and then abandoned.
Yet it survived.
And now it hides.
Unobserved and yet observing..
It blogs
what it sees!


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the
Cafeteria

today's special
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the
Morgue

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the Ageless Project

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Hatched in haste. A failed experiment. Something went horribly wrong.
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   Thursday
Waiting

I.

The spastic colon
sits and flips through
last month's Reader's Digest.
A club foot stumbles and
then drags across the floor.
From far across the room
an irritable bowel begins to grumble.
Kidney stones pass an enlarged
prostrate near the door.
And the misery..
is waiting.

It's waiting to be called.

It's the knee jerk reflex when
a nurse appears.
It's those maddening forms
and those festering fears…
Broken rhythms.
Chronic heartaches.
Ruptured lives.
Wait right here.
The misery is
loving your company.

II.

And so here is where she sits.
Filling out pertinent medical forms.
She checked.. smoker.
She checked.. drinker.
She checked.. sexually active.
She checked.. other.
Then wrote in "chocolate and pot".

So when was the last time she
had really seen a doctor?
Two.. maybe three years ago..
she thought.
And then she flipped a mental coin
to see who's name would go into that
"notify your next of kin" slot.
Like that poor man sitting near her
who looks like death warmed over
by whatever it is that he's got..
She knows that each heart
is allowed only so many beats.
And suddenly hers begins beating
alot.

III.

So as the tennis elbow whips out a cellular phone.
And while some old bladder starts churning up the gall.
She sits quietly feeling her mortality..
Just waiting to be called.


   Wednesday

Hospital Haikus 2 & 3


Amputee
(in room 525)

Morphine fingers reach
And massage his phantom limb
Somewhere in the past

A Kid
(in room 532)

Shadows pushed by time
Turn gray the ghost of daylight
Youth sleeps restlessly





(0) comments
   Thursday
Visiting Hour

Life and Death…
walk hand-in-hand
down the corridor like
proud new parents.
Smiling and nodding.
Acknowledgements that
go unseen by those they pass..
Those with the undetected cancer.
The about to burst aneurysm.
The hip just prior to the fall.
The on coming sniffles even.

As they get to pathology
they flip a coin.
Heads it's malignant
tails it's benign.
Whatever.
Who cares.
They wander on ..

But then that's just how they are.
That's how they must be.

Life and Death…
arm-in-arm and following
a priest up to the 7th floor.. 
Stop and pay a surprise visit
to the patient in room 712.
He knows that they're there.
They've been there before.
But this time Life holds
the disease while Death
hands him the cure…
And
then Life and Death
stroll arbitrarily along
the hall
to the cafeteria..

Because
that's just how they are.


   Sunday
Rhapsody (In Code Blue)

Hospital Operator?
I want to call out to my sister.
She lived in San Francisco
until 1944.. She's my older
sister Audrey and she once lived
in San Francisco.
Please dial her number for me..
Oh! I can't remember it anymore…

Operator…
Page the on-call doctor…
page the doctor to the OR!
..send the housekeeper by the ER.
We need security to the lobby door and..

Operator?
Can you hear me?
I'm on the 7th floor.. Tell my nurse
I'm here in bed.. I'm here in pain
Hear what I said? It's oh so
dreadful..
I need my meds!
Operator?

Operator!
Please connect me to a room..
Please page this doctor to..
Will lunch be coming soon? I am starved!

Oh operator!
Why must I wait so long? I just know there's
something wrong.. Please tell the nurse
I really need those goddamn meds..

And operator…
Page the on-call doctor…
page the doctor to the ER!
…send the housekeeper by the OR.
We need security to the 7th floor and...

Operator! Operator! Code Blue In ICU!!

Hey.. someone's stuck in elevator 2…
I've got a bill that's overdue.. please direct
my call.

Yes operator?
I'm on a cell phone in Timbuktu and
I'm looking for this patient's room
and..

Audrey
is that you?
Oh..
you mean I'm still only talking to
the operator..


   Monday


Hospital Haiku #1
Barf
(in room 512)

Old man's gray pallor
Same color as the meatloaf
His future is lunch









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   Sunday
Born Under A Bad Sign

Her water broke in the parking lot
Her husband fainted & broke his arm
And it began to rain upon them both
as they lay in a handicap parking spot

And so
Baby Boy Johnson began his life
on a cold stormy Friday 13th
Just another wet bloody baby
that the stork had dropped
out in parking lot C
Of course his parents really felt
this was their lucky day
even though babies seem to
land here all the time

And though
Baby Boy Johnson had
ridden in on a storm
and been born under a
"No Parking" sign..
the parents of this
bouncing bundle of joy
still declared this their
luckiest day..
Even while the ER staff
was applying daddy's cast..
And as security had their
car towed away


   Thursday
5150..

in the ER..
in 5 minutes..
and in 4 point restraint!

A young woman
wants to die..
Well at least on
this specific night
Feeling
that she'd failed in
life only to have failed worse
in death.. And this wasn't
just the first time for such
ironic histrionics.. which only
makes her wanna die
that much more so

Though she never really knows
why she hates herself so much
More than anything else on this..
God's green earth

She only knows..
that she must die tonight
She simply just must die tonight
And if you'll let her die tonight..
she's promised
that she'll start back on
her medication again
in the morning





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   Saturday
The Operation Was A Success!

In a hospital room in
a heartbeat. In the
snapping of a surgical glove
A doctor.. bedside mannered
a nurse.. ripped her pretty green
paper disposable gown..
While banging around
in a hospital room

A doctor.. playing doctor
A nurse.. there to assist..
Together & undetected
Together & undressed
Together...
Oh & coming
Together...
in a hospital room..
Together...
& in a heartbeat..
Then...

A doctor.. comes
outa a hospital room
& panting
A nurse.. sits & spits out
the bitter after-taste
of Hippocratic love






(0) comments
   Wednesday
View From A Corpse

The young new security guard whistles softly &
creeps through the basement corridor as if it were
some big cold carcass. He tries to find it funny..
the cafeteria being down the hall from the morgue.
It's something all new security guards do.

It's the very first night of his very first rounds
& he mumbles.
"A sandwich would really hit the spot about now."
But it's well after midnight & he knows the cafeteria's closed.
Besides.. he's not really hungry. He's just all alone
& insecure
in the basement
& at the door to the morgue.

With his hand round the knob he half listens for sound.
Then looks down at the ground in both
reverence & fear
& quickly jiggles the morgue doorknob
& squeaks. "Anyone here?"
Then thanks God.. no one answered!
"Security to base.. basement secure." He reports loud & clear on the radio.

The young new security guard shrugs off a slight chill
(it's just the breathless sigh of mortality).
Then bolts back to the office as fast as he can
craving a hot cup-a coffee.